Hurricane survivors want guns — no surprise — and other random post-Irma jottings


One of my colleagues, whom I shall not name, rode out Hurricane Irma with his wife without damage or too much inconvenience. Even their power stayed on — lucky that. Having instantly become one of the envied haves, as opposed to the have-nots, he and his wife decided they needed a way to protect what is theirs — a decision that came a bit too late in my humble opinion. Regardless, my colleague purchased a 12-gauge Mossberg, I don’t know which model, neither does he. I’m sure he paid more than several of my friends would have charged, and the dealer recommended birdshot rather than #4 buck. And rather than decent training at a range, all he got was a five-minute tutorial from the dealer on how to operate a pump gun. I’ve said this hundreds of times — there’s no better time than the present to learn how to defend yourself. Don’t wait until after a natural disaster strikes. Do it now!

Several dealers I’ve spoken to since Hurricane Irma say sales have increased, which isn’t a surprise. There’s no panicked run on guns. Instead, they’re seeing folks make good purchasing decisions. Many are first-time gun buyers. Shotguns, Glocks and other defensive handguns are moving. They’re getting questions about defensive ammunition too. Better late than never, I guess.

I’ve been asked a lot about the intensity of the storm, which hit Sarasota as a Category 1 hurricane. Let me say this: The windows on the 9th floor of our building are covered with salt residue that Irma whipped up off of Sarasota Bay. That’s intense enough for me. A Cat 1 hurricane is still a horrible experience.

Post-hurricane, the list of acceptable excuses to take off from work has grown. Now, I gotta get branches off my roof, and I gotta sleep, or I’m going drinking are completely fine (I’m going drinking this afternoon).

In addition to Jungle Phase and Mountain Phase, the Army’s Ranger Training Brigade should add a “Hurricane Phase.” This thing is an ass-kick. Everyone I know is in drone-mode, especially those who still don’t have power.

The usual greetings like Good morning and Good afternoon have been replaced by Ya get power yet?

Ice, generators and cold beer are gifts from God.

Since this is our fifth day without power, I’ve become pretty damn good at backyard camp-stove cookery. I may write a book: Hurricane Meals You Can Keep Down.

There’s nothing sexier than a woman with an H&K .45 holstered on her hip.

After a hurricane, electrical linemen, law enforcement and other First Responders finally get some well-deserved recognition that comes in the form of free meals, free cold drinks, back slaps, etc. It’s too bad this stops, for the most part, once the recovery is over.

A damaged home really is a magnet for looters. After a tree fell and tore off part of his home, one Sarasota man was on his cell with his insurance company when two would-be looters simply walked into his home. A combination of his yelling and his dog’s barking scared them off. They went running, fortunately. Unfortunately, they’re still free to pillage other homes. I might have handled that situation a bit differently.

The number of scammers that come out of the woodwork with fake hurricane relief charities is simply astounding. We’ve tracked several down. One of my colleagues actually spoke to one of the scammers. They told me the conman had an “indistinguishable” accent, and that he couldn’t name a single county in Florida.

As I said in a previous column, I’ve never been more thankful to live in a free society that allows me to possess the best tools available to defend myself and my family.


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